THE END

I did not receive any call or message from Sara. I had a doubt that Rika wouldn’t have given the letter to Sara. But as I had informed Sara about the letter, I was sure that she should have got it. I called Sara to check whether she had read the letter or threw it away without reading. I called no response. I called again no response. I called again still no response. I kept calling her with a hope that she might attend at least due to frustration but all my tries went in vain as before.

After few minutes I received a text. My mobile displayed “1 text message received from Sara”. I immediately opened the text. “I have booked the ticket for your return tonight and have mailed you your the ticket. Don’t call me for god’s sake. Bye.” She had said. I logged into my mail and saw the ticket. In the passengers name there was only one name Jay. I was baffled. Had she booked only for me? Am I going back all alone? What is Sara going to do? With these questions I re-read the text. This time carefully and slowly. “I have booked the ticket for your return tonight and have mailed you your ticket” Fish. How could I be without calling her now? I needed the answer. Now. Is she asking me to go home? Doesn’t she like to come along with me? Why is she doing this? Won’t she be convinced? Won’t I be forgiven? Will this stay forever? Won’t we be together? Forever? Why on earth should it happen to me alone?

After checking the bus timing I made up my mind to leave there and wait for Sara. If she doesn’t turn up then I will not go back and stay there until she returns. I arranged my clothes in the luggage which I found was the tough job. I needed mom to do it as she did it every time or at least Sara to help me in that but I am all alone now. I should manage it on my own. I dumped all my clothes and belongings into the bag and locked it.

I checked the room once and checked out. I was starving as I didn’t have food from the morning. I went into the food court and had food and got into the Volvo bus. In 10 minutes the bus was stuck in the traffic. Travelling between 6pm-9pm in Bangalore roads is the worst idea and you may feel walking is better. So I decided to walk. Many bikers stuck their bike in a congested way leaving no space to walk. I climbed on the divider, stones and pavements and reached the bus terminal after 45 minutes of jumping and walking.

I was there on right time that had mentioned in the ticket. After showing my ticket the bus conductor asked me to get into 1^st bus that was lined up. Every time I get into a bus I glance at all the passenger’s face. This time, when I entered the bus Sara was standing with her hands up shoving the luggage in the carriage and I bet every girl looks sexy in that pose. I glimpsed from head to toe in 5 seconds and moved fast to help her. I pushed the luggage in. Then she turned making our bodies just millimetres gap, both of our eyes fixed to each others. I wished the bus was moving :p. She then sat on the window seat. I pushed my luggage next to hers and went down to get a water bottle. When I returned, the seat next to Sara was occupied by an old lady. I went near to that lady and said that it was my seat in which she was sitting. Then she showed me her ticket and she was sitting in the right seat. My ticket had the seat number 14 which was in front of Sara’s seat. With a fury I sat and gave a how-dare-you looks on Sara, but she never saw me or cared what I was doing. I turned many times to look what Sara was doing. She was having her eyes fixed outside and ears plugged with ear phone. None of the time she noticed me or turned towards me. I got up from the seat and requested that lady to take my seat. Only after explaining I came along with Sara she got up and gave me the seat next to Sara.

I kept starring Sara without blinking. She was so beautiful. She kept looking outside and bus started. Her ears were listening to ear phone. I plucked the ear phone out and turned away. She didn’t turn her head and just re-plugged the ear phone. I pulled her pony tail, no response.

I plucked the ear phone again but this time with an extra force that the ear phone came in my hand, disconnecting from her phone. She turned and looked angrily. “Wont you talk with me?” I asked. She stayed silent. “Wont you forgive me?” I asked again. She turned towards me and said “who am I to forgive you?” 

“My Girl” I said.

“That’s Rika” she said.

“Cut it Sara, it was just a mistake. I love you, not her.” I said.

“Stop lying. I’m fed up with your lies.”

I got a call from Sara’s father. After informing about our arrival I gave the phone to Sara. After talking for two minutes she hung the call and smiled looking my mobile.

“Someone is smiling after a long time” I said. The reason for her smile was because, I changed her father’s contact name as ‘Papa-in-law’

She smiled again. “Please Sara, talk to me please. Enough of your punishment. I can’t bare it anymore. 

When I can’t bare it, I’m sure that you can’t bare it too because we love each other. If you still have doubt see my phone with your opened eyes.” I said and kept my mobile on her hand.

I had changed my wallpaper to Sara’s picture from Rika’s, even I had deleted her picture.

“Just changing the picture doesn’t mean you love me. When you find another beautiful girl tomorrow, you will change your wallpaper with her photo.” she snapped.

“The next girl I would love will be only our child. Trust me. I will be a loyal and caring boy friend until marriage and husband after marriage. Give me a chance to shower my love.” I said.

She kept starring me for few minutes. Tears rolled down from her eyes. Sometimes eyes will talk more than we do. I wiped her tears and gave a kiss in her forehead. We both saw each other without uttering a word.

“Thanks Jay. I didn’t have any other way to make you realize that the love you had for me was real. I wanted to make you know that the feeling that you had for Rika was just infatuation which can never become love. Sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean to hurt you Jay. But now promise me that you won’t leave me forever”

"I, Jay, take you Sara, to be my love, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer. for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithful."

"I, Sara, take you Jay, to be my love, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

As it was words of marriage vows they were half married now .They kissed each other though there was none to ask them to kiss.

Author’s Note:

With this I am ending ‘Love Accidentally’. Thanks for those who read regularly and gave their valuable comments on the blog. Thanks for those who read it only because I questioned the next day about the update. Thanks for those people who were pestered and tagged by me on every post and thanks for those who criticized my work. I loved your criticisms.  From now you need not wait for the updates in this blog. May be I would start blogging on the link below but not with the episodes like this.

http://abhinandjaguva.blogspot.in/           join in this link if you like to read my work and those who wants to keep it updated.

 Thank you.

The Letter

As she left the place leaving me, I fell on the couch. My eyes filled with tears instantly and I wiped it with my hanky. I was baffled to do anything. I found a paper lying on the table next to mine. I picked it up and started to write.

Dear Sara/friend/Girl friend/lover/philosopher/desk mate,

I am not writing this letter either to change your mind or to prove that I have changed. All I am writing down is the incidents that exactly happened in my life. I couldn’t say that I never had any feelings for rika. It’s because all men in this world will be attracted by a beautiful girl unless he is blind and that’s how I was trapped. My stupid mind assumed it as love and I became crazy. There are many dead philosophers who have defined love to this world and I am no such philosopher to define it as my world is not with me anymore. Those definitions by the dead philosophers didn’t suit the feelings I had for the two women. Then I remembered Abhimanyu Jha’s definition for his love as “missing her regularly” which gave me answer as clear as ice cube during my days of confusion. I had always been obsessed with rika and I never missed her any day but I have missed you many times, though not regularly as you were around me most of the time. I had cried when you cried, when you were admitted in the hospital and during our fights. I had hid all the feelings I had for you and failed to shower you my love and that is the reason why you have decided to leave me. Now that I have realised which and what is love, I will not commit a mistake like this anymore. I just want my love to shower my love. I know I had committed a big mistake which definitely needs a punishment. If staying away from you is the punishment you want to give me I am ready to take it. I have betrayed the loyal girl who showed her loyal love. I want those loving days back which is very hard to get it back now. Hoping that it might happen someday. Sorry for everything I had done. Take care.

                                                                                                                                 With Love,

                                                                                                                                 Jay.

“I wish I could have been sara” a voice beeped. I straightened my head and saw rika rubbing her tears from her eyes and that is when I realised rika had not left the place.

“No one can become Sara.” I said and asked “Can you help me in handing this letter to her?”

“Answer me honestly,What if I propose you now? Will you accept me?” she stunned me.

I was silent for few minutes. “As I am damn clear, I will surely deny the proposal.” I smiled.

She again rubbed her eyes and held her hand open. I placed the letter on her hand and called Sara. No answer.

“I have given a letter to rika as I don’t have any idea where you stay. I wish I could travel with you during the return.” I sent her a text.

Rika left the place and I followed. When I stepped out rika honked with her scooty. “Do you want me to drop you?”

“Banglore has good bus service. I will use it and thanks for asking. Take care.” I snapped her and turned towards right without seeing her.

Though I couldn’t believe what I had just said to her, I felt good for a drastic change in me. I decided not to stalk or see rika anymore in my life. My head was over covered with sara and her love which I had misused. 

To Leave You Forever

The bus stopped at the terminal and the passengers were emptying the bus slowly while sara was still gazing through the window. Finally I got up to take our baggage and she followed. When I lent her support to carry her bags she refused my help and kept it by her side .She got down and I followed her. The climate there was very cool that I was suddenly in need of a jerkin. When I was looking for a taxi sara handed me a chit which said “I will be staying at my cousin’s house. Will text you the place where we have to meet later”.

My soul’s anger reached its peak after reading it. “You could have informed me earlier that you are not staying with me. I don’t understand why you behave like this when you already know what I was doing? ‘Forgiving is humanity’ and don’t you have a heart to forgive or is that you don’t like to forgive me? Open your god-damn mouth and answer” I yelled.

She gave me a blank expression hearing what I had said, with tears still in her eyes. Only then I realized that it was totally my fault and I shouldn’t have yelled at her. Without reacting to the scene, she gave me another chit which said “It was your parent’s decision. They asked me not to stay with you and my uncle will come now to pick me up” The moment I finished reading I heard a honk. A man from Honda City got down and took sara with him. I hired a taxi and asked him to drop me at Indira nagar. I checked in at The Hotel Grand Park. I called sara to inform that I have reached but she didn’t attend my call. May be she would be busy talking with her relatives, so I sent her a message.

As I had a sleepless night in the bus, my eyes were automatically shutting down. It was 7 in the morning so I thought of sleeping for a while. When I got up, the clock showed the time as 11am. I checked my mobile for any calls and messages from sara but it showed nothing. I called Sara but she didn’t attend this time too. I sat and started watching TV.It was around 2.30 when my phone beeped. It was a message from Sara. “Come to CCD, Whitefeild at 5 in the evening”. I called her immediately but there was no response. I got up and left immediately as it would take a flat 2hours for me to reach there. During the travel I sent her text for which I never got any reply. “Sara please, talk to me. I know what I have done is wrong. But don’t kill me this way. My day is like a hell without you. Love you”. I waited for few minutes but there was no response. I typed another text. “At least talk while we are at CCD. I am ready to do whatever you say. I need only you Sara please”. None of my text pleased her to call me back. I reached my destination at 4.30 pm and took the last corner seat facing the TV which was opposite to the entrance. This is the biggest CCD in south India.

A cold air suddenly blew on me and my hair soared, just like the heroine’s entrance in most of the movies, but it was due to the labour who switched on the AC aside me. As I turned towards the entrance to check whether sara has come, I saw a girl in white dress nearing the cafe. She was not visible but a blurred image of a girl was all I could see. I instantaneously turned myself towards her and my testosterones began their motion. When she came near I was baffled. Something happened which was unbelievable for me. I have not expected at all, it was she, someone about who I was thinking on and on, someone who made me lose myself, someone who has made me to think for. I do not know what kind of thrust it was propounding in my heart. I was not able to believe my eyes. She was so sweet, so attractive, her beauty is inexpressible in words, and I was lost to her and was looking at her without blinking my eyes even once. She was a princess. She looked around her and took a seat. That’s mood swing. The waiter came and interrupted me by placing my order. I turned towards her frequently to look at what she was doing. The corner seat had its advantage of not being visible to many including her. Her eyes were switching from her mobile, the entrance and to the TV constantly. I thought of going near her to give a talk. When I stood up, a much more familiar face joined her to give me more shock. What the hell? How do these two know each other? When I stood up the new girl, Sara noticed me. Both Sara and her new friend, headed towards me. I invited them with a ‘hi’. One among them replied for my ‘hi’ and that was Rika. They took their seats.

“Sara, I know him. He is my Facebook friend” Rika said to Sara.

“I know Rika and I know more than what you know. The purpose of inviting you both have some reasons. I have been known to Jay from the first day of my college. We became good friends as days passed and gradually the best friends. We never had hidden secrets between us. One fine day he misunderstood my friendship as love and I made him realize that we were only good friends. But, after that, I started to fall for him. I love him but he doesn’t love me. (Her voice got low on each sentence). He needs a girl who is very beautiful and actually he has seen the girl who is apt for her. They had met once as well”   

I remained silent without knowing what to say. I never expected that we three would meet one day and sit like this. When I try to forget someone God sends her to me, make me feel her beauty, gets me attracted again and leaves me in trouble. Such a nice almighty.

“Rika let me come to the point, Jay loves you. He thinks you are perfect for him. He was mesmerised the moment he saw you in FB and your taste which is same to his, made him like you more. He forgets the world around him when you are around in any way. All he wants is you. He thinks of you all the time, stalks your profile every day , watch you all the time. You are his mobile’s wallpaper . When I proposed him he said he doesn’t like to get into a serious relationship and I thought I could change his mind. But only now I found that he is totally in love with you. I am not the girl he wants. It is you. You are the only girl who can keep him happy, all the time. Even when I am around he thinks of you, and acts as if he loves me. I don’t want to be a trouble for him anymore and I don’t want his fake love anymore. I came here to solve this problem in the name of project. Hope I have done the right thing. As you said Jay ‘one’s happiness can’t be unhappiness of another’, I have decided ‘to leave you forever’. And I am sorry Rika.

She left the place leaving me in tears.   

One’s happiness can’t be unhappiness of another

From the moment she left the place I was stumbled with a great confusion. She has added an extra confusion in my foggy life. But this time the impact was high. I couldn’t escape from the trip as she had got my parent’s permission already. I had not learned anything since the holiday started. All I did was stalking rika’s profile. Now, Sara diverted me from rika.

I went to sara’s house to study for the exams. At first she refused to teach me as I said I will study by myself. After a few buttery talks I convinced her. “Don’t I know about my Jay” was all she said. Even while her teaching my mind was swinging and she found that. When I said that it was because of the trip that she has decided and I asked for the reason for going. She never answered. At one point I bellowed at her to answer for what fucking we are going to Bangalore. She cried, sobbed and wept but never answered. Those tears did not please me but made me angrier. I left her house banging the door. When I fell on my bed, I recollected the memories I spent with sara. I have never got her memories so far. Every time rika was haunting me and for the first time sara. Those peppy talks, little fights, that first kiss, movie, bike ride on the rainy eve made me to calm down. Immediately I called up sara but she never attended. Due to my nonstop calls she attended but didn’t speak. I went to her house and looked for her. She was still crying. I touched her and asked sorry. No response.

“These tears are valuable for me, please save it” I said which got me a smile. She kissed, we kissed.

“Don’t say me that you kissed me to get why we are going to Bangalore.” She said which made me to feel pity. “It shows that you don’t trust me Jay”

“I came here only to apologise and I trust you, in fact love you” as I said I got a peck in my cheek.

“Sara what should I do if something which I like, takes me far from my dreams, confuse me, make me a loser even before I fight?” I asked as if I had some problem. But the intention was to get her answer in which ‘like’ represented ‘sara’ and ‘dreams’ represented ‘rika’ which I alone knew.

“I don’t understand and I don’t want to know what exactly you are talking about. All I could say is keep the thing which you like with you during your progress. It will give you happiness whenever you are exhausted.”

Our exams started the next day. She was sitting adjacent to me in the exam hall. I could see each and every part of sara, her movements and her paper too. She turned towards me and gave thumbs up which I accepted showing her all my teeth. The foggy confusion was still there, Sara or Rika? My soul tipped me off to solve the confusion before she could take me to rika, else I could be in a problem, forever.

She gave me thumbs up for every exam but on the last exam she also said ‘we are leaving tonight’ which gave me shivers on my spine and sweat on my body. I breathed hot without knowing about the future. The exams were disaster but with Sara’s help I got confidence that I would pass.

The D-day was getting close as we sat next to each other on the bus. She took the window seat. Once I got settled she gave me a kiss. I smiled. My hands were cold and I breathed very hot. I looked around, the ambience was good. An AC Volvo bus’s ambience would always be good. She sensed my jitteriness and asked if I am alright. I gave her an alright smile back.

One day the climax should come. Let that be today because I will not get such an ambience next time. The bus had its benefits. She can’t run away or I could control her, she can’t throw me out, she can’t be left alone. I finalised the I would confess now.

“Sara, I want to talk to you which are very important. Don’t interrupt me in between or forgive if I say something wrong” I said.

  “Go on” she was precise.

“When you proposed me I didn’t know that you are the one I was looking for. That’s why I said you that I am not sure about our future. Few days later I came across a beautiful girl’s profile on facebook. I liked her the moment I saw. She got into me and I was crazy about her. She became my PC and phone’s wallpaper. Every day I was stalking her profile and was chatting with her. This was the reason for my weirdness. I didn’t know that I loved her but I liked her. I don’t know much about her but she makes me to forget everything when I speak with her. The craziness took me to Bangalore and I didn’t participate in any competition, I lied to you. I wandered almost everywhere in Bangalore to find her. I sneaked into the ladies college, got caught, but fortunately, escaped. I found her in a street when I was walking. We went into the CCD and spoke for few minutes. Then we had chatted few more times. I don’t know I either love her or not. From the moment I saw her I was let into a big confusion of whom I love. I have been thinking for a long time but I never got the answer. I know your love is true and pure. I always respected your love. But none of the time I got your memories. It was on the eve before our exams I got your memories for the first time. The memories, which somersaulted my heart and gave me the answer for months long question” I paused to see her. As expected her eyes was watery. I looked into her eyes, she turned towards the window. I waited for her to turn but she was crying facing the window. I held her hand and asked her to speak to me. But she didn’t. Few minutes later she spoke, crying.

“Jay I am happy that you said it now. You forgot me when she was around. These phrases should not be heard by a lover. You don’t understand how it hurts. It could be understood only by the person who loves. You will not understand because you didn’t love me, but cheated me. You could have said it before accepting my love, at least I would have gone out of your life earlier. How the fuck you got the heart to betray me? do I look like an idiot? Even if we marry this is something which I could never forget. No girl will like her boy to love someone or to be loved by someone else. But you have given me a pain that I should suffer for a lifelong. She paused for seconds and continued again. But you forgot two things jay. One is me and another is that your password. Damn-mad don’t you know that I knew your password? I found there is something wrong when you sat in front of the social network all the time. But I took few days to know what exactly was happening to you. Your mobile wallpaper gave me the answer. I cried every day thinking of you. Doesn’t my love satisfies you? Or is beauty is your problem? Why did you do this Jay? Am I not good to you? Was your love fake? Why did you even kiss me being in such a confusion?  Was it just for your pleasure? So you had used me Jay.  I had blindly trusted you and I showed you the purest form of love. But you misused my love and trust. You have played with my life Jay. You have been making me a fool all these days. Had not got this situation what would have you done? What would have you done if she had fallen for you? I’m sure you would have dumped me without giving a thought about my life. After all you didn’t love me. Do you know how it hurts me? You have been so self-fish. You have shattered my dreams Jay“   She cried resting her head on my shoulder.

Photo Courtesy: GOOGLE

Tears rolled down along my cheeks. It was such a pain to watch her crying from her heart. I was searching for words to speak. I know what I have done to her. I wanted her to realize that though my mind was clouded with rika all these days, my heart had always searched for sara. It’s hard to convince someone whose heart has broken into pieces. I cleared my throat to speak up.

“I can realize the harm that I have done to you. I know the pain that you are undergoing. All these days while I was stalking rika, the guilt of betraying your trust haunted me. Once I made up my mind not to think about her. But it was just her face which drove me through the wrong path. Please know that I was just attracted to her. Now I have realized that the feeling I had for rika was just a kinda lust, may be. But you have taught me what real love is. All these days you have been urging for my love but now it’s me who urges for the same. I really love you and this time I am serious about our future too. Don’t think I am saying it in pity, I swear. You made me to feel your love and I want you throughout my life. Just forgive me for the last time and you would find a new Jay sorry old Jay back. After all, One’s happiness can’t be unhappiness of another “I said but she gave a blank expression.

Photo Courtesy: GOOGLE

 I was waiting for her to speak back but she refused to utter a word. The whole journey was like hell. But I was curious and scared to know what was waiting for me in Banglore. We finally reached there around 6 a.m  but she was still calm and I was just looking at her.