As she left the place leaving me, I fell on the
couch. My eyes filled with tears instantly and I wiped it with my hanky. I was
baffled to do anything. I found a paper lying on the table next to mine. I
picked it up and started to write.
Dear Sara/friend/Girl friend/lover/philosopher/desk mate,
I am not writing this letter either to change your
mind or to prove that I have changed. All I am writing down is the incidents
that exactly happened in my life. I couldn’t say that I never had any feelings
for rika. It’s because all men in this world will be attracted by a beautiful girl
unless he is blind and that’s how I was trapped. My stupid mind assumed it as
love and I became crazy. There are many dead philosophers who have defined love
to this world and I am no such philosopher to define it as my world is not with
me anymore. Those definitions by the dead philosophers didn’t suit the feelings
I had for the two women. Then I remembered Abhimanyu Jha’s definition for his
love as “missing her regularly” which gave me answer as clear as ice cube
during my days of confusion. I had always been obsessed with rika and I never
missed her any day but I have missed you many times, though not regularly as
you were around me most of the time. I had cried when you cried, when you were
admitted in the hospital and during our fights. I had hid all the feelings I
had for you and failed to shower you my love and that is the reason why you
have decided to leave me. Now that I have realised which and what is love, I
will not commit a mistake like this anymore. I just want my love to shower my
love. I know I had committed a big mistake which definitely needs a punishment.
If staying away from you is the punishment you want to give me I am ready to
take it. I have betrayed the loyal girl who showed her loyal love. I want those
loving days back which is very hard to get it back now. Hoping that it might
happen someday. Sorry for everything I had done. Take care.
With
Love,
Jay.
“I wish I could have been sara” a voice beeped. I
straightened my head and saw rika rubbing her tears from her eyes and that is
when I realised rika had not left the place.
“No one can become Sara.” I said and asked “Can you help
me in handing this letter to her?”
“Answer me honestly,What if I propose you now? Will
you accept me?” she stunned me.
I was silent for few minutes. “As I am damn clear, I
will surely deny the proposal.” I smiled.
She again rubbed her eyes and held her hand open. I
placed the letter on her hand and called Sara. No answer.
“I have given a letter to rika as I don’t have any
idea where you stay. I wish I could travel with you during the return.” I sent
her a text.
Rika left the place and I followed. When I stepped
out rika honked with her scooty. “Do you want me to drop you?”
“Banglore has good bus service. I will use it and
thanks for asking. Take care.” I snapped her and turned towards right without
seeing her.
Though I couldn’t believe what I had just said to
her, I felt good for a drastic change in me. I decided not to stalk or see rika
anymore in my life. My head was over covered with sara and her love which I had
misused.
