The Promise

The happiness lasted long but not her chats. I was online all time but she was found to be invisible. I tried to ping her but I never got any reply. I mailed her saying “The Promise, you made is yet to be complete.” I wished to have yet few more conversations with her but all I could do was to admire her.As it was my study holidays, I was supposed to concentrate on my studies. Instead I had my PC in my studying table. I arranged few books in the corner of the table so that the monitor would be covered.

My parents never compelled me to study and score high marks and at the same time I never made them low by flunking in papers. I strive hard to get decent score in every subject and they are happy with that. Most of the good parents know their child’s capacity and I got the best parents.

                                                     Photo Courtesy : GOOGLE

In few minutes my mom came into my room, and she was damn happy to see me with the heap of books. “And finally my son has started studying” she said and blushed. “I came to say you something. Sara called me and asked what you are doing. It seems you are not picking up her call.”

“Mom!Exams are nearing, so let me concentrate on my books rather than my mobile and I don’t want to get distracted by anything. Please let her know that mom.” I said and turned towards my table.

I hardly read a page, but nothing seem to get into my head as it was fully clouded with the thoughts of Rika. I was scribbling in the paper which my mom thought I was working out. But I was working out for a poem. I didn’t know how to write a poem as it was the first time.

Her promise to do anything is still waiting,

What shall I ask her for??

How will I make her realize that all I need is

My eyes to admire her,

Legs to walk along with her,

My hands to hold her,

For lifelong.

As I was floating in my dreams, a sudden bang on the door brought me to the reality. With curses under my breath I turned to see who it was. It was Sara. She was looking strangeand I could sense her anger. Without uttering a word with her I tried to hide the paper which had my poem. But unfortunately Sara had noticed my hands trying to fold the piece of paper. She grabbed it from my hand and she read what was written. By the time she was reading I started to build up a story in my mind so that she will be convinced with it. As I was about to narrate the story to her she stopped me to say something.

“It’s getting serious. We need to sort out something in Banglore. So we are leaving, this holiday.” Was all she said and left my room.

Her words shook my body and it started to sweat heavily.Floods of questions arose.

 Did she really mean about Rika?

How did she knew it?

 Is this her only reaction on knowing about Rika?

 Why banglore?

 Did she talk with Rika?

All these question confused me a lot. But these thoughts also gave me some relief. Yes finally the drama is heading towards the climax. But Rika doesn’t know anything. I didn’t know what are all other difficulties I’m going face later.

 P.S. Girls are good at making promise and bad at keeping them.

Longest conversation, Extended happiness

Witch-made-smile lasted for few more days and I didn’t know the whereabouts of my worries. That small chat had given a sudden change to me. Sara was sweet to me as before and I acted to be sweet to her. I don’t know why I did so.

When the college was about to end that day, we received a circular from principal’s table stating “The last working day for this semester is pre-pone to today and the exams are starting from 21^st. More details available on the notice board. All the best for your exams. ”

I was exhilarated after hearing the circular for two things. One, I don’t have to act for the next 20days and the other is I will get few more extra hours to admire my beauty’s picture. A sudden thought stroke my mind “What if sara calls me for the group study like we did earlier?”

As we walked back to our homes I initiated the talk.  “The exams are ahead and we have very little time to cover the portions. We have not touched any part yet and we know how much we scored in the internals. If we don’t get serious now our career would be ruined. What I’m trying to say is this 20days let us concentrate on studies than chatting, talking and roaming. That would help us anyway”

“Yes anyway we both are going to study at your place and I will be teaching you all the subjects. This is what we did earlier and we will follow the same. I’m glad that I will be with you for the whole day” she said and let her tongue out like this :P

“We were different earlier and we are different now. So I think I need to study alone. If I still study like a small child then I would be used to it. So I will study by myself and you study by yourself Sara. Don’t mistake me. It’s just for our better life”. As I finished a drop of tear rolled from her left eye.

“Ok Jay as you wish” she said and left to her house.

As soon as I reached home I switched on the pc. Yeah! It was Rika’s timing to surf and she was there online. The dilemma of whether to ping her or not took more time that she went offline. So I did the work which was my everyday’s duty. I saw everything with excruciating sight. Time flew away soon and mom called for the coffee.

After I finished the coffee I was astound to see a chat box had opened saying Hi. The moment I looked the top of the chat box took me to ecstasy. It was from my beauty Ms.Rika. I didn’t know what to do as I was in a jittery state. My hands were trembling in ecstasy, my heart became lighter and I was flying. I immediately reverted back her with hi.

Jay: hi

Rika: hi!

Jay:  Wassup? You had pinged me for the first time?

Rika: Nope I didn’t ping you.

Jay: check the chat history you had pinged.

Rika: sorry I had done it mistakenly.

Jay: Ok (sudden sadness filled the room)

She didn’t reply after that. I waited for few minutes and started again.

Jay: Saw ek deewana tha?

Rika: eeks! You watch those movies. I don’t like such stuffs. (She said as if I asked her about some porn movie.)

Jay: I liked it very much!

Rika: ok.

Photo Courtesy: GOOGLE

I gave a few minutes gap.

Rika: what doing?

Jay: (happiness activated) just returned back home roaming.

Rika: ok take rest.

Jay: why should I take rest all of a sudden? I’m not ill.

Rika: Thought you would be tired as you were roaming.

Jay: Nope! Not at all.

Rika: Can you do me a favour? (So this is why you pinged me)

Jay: Yes sure (my mouth opened a wide and my heart said anything for you Rika)

Rika: you should do it and you can’t regret later

Jay: I will try. (Oh! jay you shouldn’t have said that)

Rika: no leave you can’t.

Jay: just say it. let me decide whether I can or can’t.

Rika: tomorrow is my friend’s Birth day.

Jay: B’day wishes for your friend and wish her on my behalf. So what?

Rika: I want to give her a surprise and I need your help on that.

Jay: Ok what should I do?

Rika: My friend Amy likes a guy named Bryden lewis. He is one of the members of Slain band. I have got the other crew members numbers and I want his number. Can you get it? Can you ask them without saying anything about my friend and me? plz.

Jay: hey loosu…. (Idiot in Tamil)

Rika: I don’t wanna give you any more trouble leave bye. (The weapon of girls which they use to flatter any boy)

Jay: I’ll try (I tried to mollify her)

Rika: if you do this I’ll do anything for you.Is it ok? Plz

Jay: can I do it after few hours?

Rika: Sure but I need it today.

Jay: ok give me your number I will get his.

Rika: Manek D’silva 9xxxxxx000 and Judah Sandy 9xxxxxx361! (She is too cautious)

Jay: ok.I will get his number and you have promised to do anything for me. Keep it in mind.

Rika: Yes what do you want?

Jay: I will ask you after I give you his number. I will mail you the number as soon as I get .

Rika: Thanks man. You just made my day. (I would like to make each and every second of your life witch.)

Jay: Tell me some info about bryden lewis so that it would help me to talk to them.

Rika: few mins plz.

In a mean while I called manek it ringed but went unanswered. I called Judah which was not reachable. FISH!

Rika: I’m back. I don’t know anything about them.

Jay: both are not attending the call.

Rika: ok leave you do your work I will do mine. Bye.

 She said and went offline before I could say anything.

I had both of their numbers and I was playing with my mobile. I saw Rika smiling in my mobile. I did not want her to get upset instead want her to be happy always.

So I googled slain band and read few lines about them. Then I tried for maneks number. He answered me on my 7^th attempt.

Photo Courtesy: GOOGLE

“Hey manek” I said. “I am Jay speaking, to be short a big fan of your band. Your band is just awesome.”

“Thanks by the way how did you get my number?” manek said.

“Can you do me a favour?”

“Yes tell me”

“I’m Bryden lewis fan and I would like to speak it him. Can I get his number?”

“You can connect him through Facebook. Bye” he said and hung the phone.

It was just a fiasco with him. I cursed him and tried calling Judah. It was ringing now and she attended on 13^th time.

“Hey Judah”

“Hello. May I know who this is?”

“A very big fan of you, who notes every bit of you. You can ask me anything that I would answer right from your birthday etc. Your recent concert was awesome. You are just an amazing all rounder.”

“Wait wait. Take some breathe. Thanks I’m just blushed.”

“Bryden also does a very good job, can I get his number. I have to talk with him please.”

“Actually we shouldn’t give anyone’s no”

“You can do this small help for your big fan please.”

“Note it my dear 9xxxxxx132”

“Thanks Sandy. You made my day” I said and hung the call.

I immediately mail Rika stating

“Mission Accomplished”

Got bryden lewis number finally. 9xxxxxx132

In a few minutes I got her reply.

“Thanks a ton. Hope you have given the right number and not played with it. Thanks.”

“Just don’t make me angry” I replied back.

Is she testing me whether I’m trust worthy? Or is she using me to get her work done? Whatever it is, she had just gifted me a longest conversation and I’m happy with it.

P.S. Most girls just use men to get their works done. Hope it’s their nature.

Witch who made me smile!

The guilt never stopped me. It was killing me from inside. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was feeling pity on Sara for my behaviour. I know that I shouldn’t betray her and I should be true at least from now. I was thinking how to overcome this issue. But that made me go sick. So I switched on the television to distract myself. As I was surfing the channels my eyes suddenly got struck with a scene from some movie. A girl in scooty with covered face. The very scene took me to the memories of Rika.  Black and white images of the moments I spent with her flashed on my mind like a slideshow. Very soon my lips curved and I smiled for the 1^st time in a week.

Rika was all clouded in my head. Her cute face, fuzzy hair, rosy lips and I started admiring her in my mind. I saw Rika’s photo in my mobile. She smiled at me.

The very next moment I logged in to my facebook profile and was checking out the news feed. Nothing was interesting because I was only interested about Rika. I opened her profile and was shocked to see her new profile picture. The anxiety in me opened her picture and started admiring her. She was much more beautiful than the previous picture. A close up picture compared to the previous one and it drove me little poetic.

Photo Courtesy: Google

“Baby you’re just fit and fine,

I would like to make you mine.”

I had three options to do with that photo.

1. Like

2. Comment

3. Download.

Soon my hand went for the 3^rd option and I saved it in her folder. Then I changed my wallpaper of both my PC and mobile with the new picture. And of course I went for the first option as well and I was the 30^th to like the picture. Darn! I cursed myself for the late. I sent her a message stating “The new picture is just awesome. You could try modeling; I hope you would beat both KK’s”. And I came back to my job of admiring her. In few minutes a pop up sound came. It was a response from Rika and I soon saw she was online.

Oh thanks and I don’t have any idea like that. She sent. She is so precise in her chat and I liked it.

“You have bright chances. How are you?” I said to continue the chat.

“Fine and you?” she said.

“I’m good. When can we meet next?” I asked.

“Why should we meet and what is the purpose?” She said and was quite harsh.

“Just like that. As friends I don’t think we need a purpose to meet.”

“No need of meeting and that was just an accident. I don’t have any intention to meet any one. Especially boys.”

“Why? What sin did boys commit?” I asked

“I don’t believe in them. Everyone would end up in love.”

Man! She is Stubborn. Stubborn girls will have a good character and will not have any dealings with any others. They do their own work silently.

“Oh I see, hope you would have experienced it if I’m not wrong.” I said to clarify.

“That’s none of your business.”She snapped.

“Chill! How is your life going?”

“Aacha, I need to go out. Catch you later.”

“See you, take care.” I said.

She is a witch. She made me to forget my own issues and made me happy in few minutes.

Aftermath of GUILT

Guilt never stops bothering you until something is done with it. Thus I finally made up my mind to confess things about Rika to Sara. I know it’s going to be very hard for her but I thought not to delay anymore. I had no idea as to how to begin with .My mind was all clouded with the possible questions that Sara might throw as hearing this. I imagined the way she will react and the way she will expose her anger. The very thought frightened me. Betraying the trust of your beloved is the worst crime one can ever do. Standing as a criminal in front of her, I should accept all the punishments she gives me. I spent the whole night thinking of how and what has to be said. I did not know when I drifted off to sleep.

“Sara I know what I have for you is going to hurt but please make your heart strong enough. I know the love that you have for me is very pure and uncountable but sorry to say that I’m not as true as you are to me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love you but I’m not able to show all my love to you. Though it was I who started about this love to you first, I realized we were only friends when we decided not to talk to each other for 3 days. After few months something I never expected happened. You proposed me. But you have to know what happened before that. I hope you remember those days when I was quite addicted to orkut. It had some reason behind. And it was RIKA. When I came across her account for the first time she was nothing to me. Just a stranger. But something made me to leave her a friend request which she had approved it after few days. Thus I started to stalk her .Soon her orkut page was book marked in my PC. What impressed me about her were the tastes which were very similar to mine. But what made me to fall for her was her pretty face which she had uploaded as her profile picture. She swept my heart by her gorgeous looks. Soon I became crazy on her. I gave my best to chat with her but nothing worked out. Suddenly one day she was not found in orkut. She disappeared. That was when I missed her. Too much. But I was glad to catch her again in facebook. And with the tour to banglore, it was my first attempt in search of her. My attempt did not go in vain. I saw her on the last day of the tour. We happened to meet in some café and I also got a chance to talk with her. But my presence did not make her happy. It just happened. All the while I tried my best to bring this to your knowledge but I couldn’t. Our last outing to the café was when I realized the harm that I was doing to you. That was an embarrassing situation for me. My guilt killed me. Thus I decided to let you know everything. I know this will hurt you badly but I’m helpless Sara. I’m really very sorry. I shouldn’t have done this to you. But do know that I love you as well. Hmm…. sounds insane right?”

As I was about to complete with what I wanted to say, I felt Sara’s palm hard on my left cheek. Too hard. She screamed, her face distorted with fury and pain. Tears rolled down on her cheeks. It never stopped. She abused me. All I could do was just stand like a shameless sheep closing my eyes. All of a sudden I heard nothing. It was stopped. No cry. No shouts. No abuse. When I opened my eyes I found Sara lying on the floor unconscious. She never opened her eyes. Everything went black.

Photo courtesy: Google

Chinta ta ta chita chita
Chinta ta taa..
Chinta ta ta chita chita
Chinta ta taa..

i couldn't hear anything than this song. i breathed heavily without knowing what to do.Only then,I got my breath when the phone was glowing.I rubbed my eyes and turned on the bedside lamp. It took quite a few minutes for me to realize that it was just a dream. The clock showed 5.45 am.   I looked for my phone and found it was Sara.

“Hello? “ I said.

“Good morning baby love you so much “was all I could hear. The very moment, the thought of confessing about Rika vanished.

Present Day..with Memories of Past :-(

Sara was back to normalcy. I realized that only my presence with her has made her better. I thought I should never make her suffer yet again. So as a first step for keeping her happy I decided to take her out. One fine morning I called her to say that we were going out by evening though I never knew where to take her. She was very happy hearing it. Around 6 at the evening I took my bike to pick up sara at her house. I enjoyed the few minutes ride and I was excited about taking her out as if it was the first time. I reached her house and I was welcomed by her mother. We had the formal talks and she left in asking me to wait for sara. After waiting for quite few minutes I saw someone walking down the stairs .A familiar face with gorgeous look was heading towards me. She was looking like an absolute stunner. For the first time sara made me to go freeze by her looks. Her face looked brighter than ever before. It clearly showed that she too was excited about our outing. We bade her mother a goodbye and took a leave from her house.

The ride with sara after long time gave me ecstasy. I felt proud to have a gorgeous looking girl by my side. We were clueless as to where to go. Thinking for a while sara said me to land at the café day. So we found ourselves in café day within few minutes. As soon as I stepped in, the memories of rika bounced into my head. The memories of the day when I was with rika in a similar café at banglore started haunting me again. All my excitement and ecstasy vanished by the very same moment. Sara on the other hand was enjoying every seconds. We took the corner table and sara sat very close to me .Her face pinkish. But my thought was full of rika. Though I felt very guilt, I was not able to stop thinking about her. I was even not able to concentrate on what the stunning gorgeous was saying. I did not even hear what she ordered for us though I know she would order nothing else than brownie. I was totally out of the world until I felt sara’s hand on mine. After gaining my conscious I tried not to think about rika, but I failed. So I decided at least to act as if I was enjoying the day with sara. I felt very sorry for sara who was showering me with all her love. Meanwhile our orders arrived and so I started to concentrate on it. Sara, who ordered brownie for her took a spoon of it to feed me. Seeing her doing so I cursed myself for what I’m now. Soon we finished our orders and hence we took a leave.

On the ride back to sara’s house the happiness and the feel which I had was no more. Soon we reached her house and I bade her goodnight. On return she gave a peck on my forehead. I was not able to stay there anymore. My guilt killed me inside. As I reached my house, my mom, who thought that I was enjoying the evening with sara, smiled at me. To show that all went well I gave her a return smile and rushed to my room before she showers me with her questions about the evening. Locking me behind the door I felt like shouting aloud. But I ended up by cursing me the whole night. 

Something has to be DONE!

                   
                                                           
 I sat near Sara seeing her condition. She was lying in my lap and holding my legs tightly to not let me go anywhere. She had turned to pale. Her body looked as if she is not well for years. Her rosy lips had faded out. Chubbiness had gone down. Her tiny eyes had shrunk more with dark circles below. I realized how fool I was to make Sara like this. The meeting with Rika played in my mind. I suddenly got conscious. 

Photo courtesy : Google

To just meet Rika I have gone till Bangalore leaving Sara and my family here. Who is she? I have never met her before, she was neither my class mate nor my neighbour. I have just seen her photo in a social network and got impressed. It was like admiring beauty of an actress. But I have walked like a mad on the streets of Bangalore without knowing where I was heading to, sneaked into women’s college without any proper permission, searched throughout the college for her, escaped from a major police case with the grace of a lecturer. I did too many things in the last 3 days just to see her. Why did I do these? Am I in love with Rika? Is this they call love at first sight? But as soon as I heard Sara’s name I felt jittery and I wanted to see her immediately. When I came to know she was sick, my heart pumped quickly than usual, increasing adrenaline in my body. The moment I saw her I broke down with few drops in my eyes. What the hell is going on with me? Why am I affectionate to both of them? For one I could leave everyone and go anywhere just to see her. For other I don’t care the world around me when she is around me. Insane. I can’t break someone’s heart with disappointment. But I should decide something soon, else there would be a serious problem that could reflect on me as well. But for now I couldn’t decide who would be best for me? All I came to know is, if I go for Rika I could forget everyone and everything. Hope I am crazy on her. Anyone would go crazy if they see her once. But a small separation between me and Sara is affecting her so much. I forgot her easily during the trip but that doesn’t mean I am not in love. I love her but I still don’t know how I forgot her. Rika has affected me so much. But sara’s condition is terrible. Three days without food, longing to talk to me and I have ignored her call when she called me. I’m such an idiot. If I had spoken with her once this wouldn’t have happened. What will their parents think? For my pleasure I have been giving pain to many. But this should not happen anymore. From now I should take care of Sara well and once she is strong I should tell her everything. But how will she take it? This should not turn into a big problem. I should cluster up everything properly and smoothly.

Jay asks you:

I still have a doubt on whether am I true to anyone? I have lied to Sara and my parents too. Whom do I love? what I did with Sara is right or with Rika is right? Having been travelling with me for so many days I believe you would have known be better. So do comment your views below.

Few minutes of memories

During the travel from Banglore I was recapturing the few moments that I had spent with Rika. I was gleaming throughout like a mad. The man who was sitting next to me frowned twice and soon he took some other seat fearing my activities. I ignored the movie that was playing in the bus. My eyes were looking through the window but it was watching the clips of meeting Rika. I didn’t hear my mobiles ringtone and vibration, the honk of passing vehicles and didn’t realize where the bus stopped and started again. I was like a numb, hearing Rika’s sweet voice and recalling the video in my mind. I really appreciated my mind for saving those. Suddenly I gained my conscious as I realized that I was in an urgency to piss. I asked the driver to stop along the road side to finish my work and the driver took a break himself. As I returned back to the bus I checked my mobile. There was 8 missed calls 3 from mom and 5 from Sara at 10.30 pm, now it was 2 am. I didn’t call back, as it was very early morning to disturb their sleep. So I just continued thinking about Rika and slept off.

Suddenly I felt like someone was pushing me hard. I opened my eyes but found none, only then I realized I had entered the outskirts of my city. Even my city highways, has no good roads and every passenger would assume they are nearing Madurai if they feel too shaky. As the bus stopped at the bus stand, I hired an auto and reached home. Mom opened the door and hugged me. After getting the answers for her formal questions from me she asked me to freshen up myself. In few minutes I went down freshening. Mom asked why didn’t I pick up the phone last night and they were scared much. I answered them that I was too tired and slept well in the bus.

Jay, did you call Sara and speak? She asked

No mom I didn’t speak to her from the day I left to banglore. I said.

She was so worried about you. You could have just called her once and spoke. She was sitting here and speaking with me and asking about you each and every minute. And last night…..she paused.

Last night? Say mom…

Nothing Jay, it seems she had not eaten properly for last three days and she fainted last night when she was about to leave to her house. That is when I called you and you didn’t pick up the call. We then hospitalized her and doctor said she had not even drunk water for past two days. She was keep on saying your name, thinking about you, talking about you. Is there anything wrong between you two?

Oh shit! Damn. Where is she now? is she alright now? Let me go and see her now. And no mom nothing is wrong between her. it is just wrong with me. I should have spoken to her. I made the mistake. I said and took the shirts to wear.

I got the address of the hospital where she was admitted and rushed there. Her mom was sitting next to her worried. When I stepped in, she left me asking me to take care of her and she would go home and prepare breakfast for her.

Photo courtesy: Google

I found Sara sleeping well . Her face was too dull, lips have become dry and the pinkish colour have faded out. The skin now has got wrinkles and she had become lean. i sat next to her in the bed, took her hand and kept it in my thigh. The veins have come out and it is sticking to the skin. She has been getting trips from last nit. Her soft cheeks have lost their chubbiness, tiny eyes had got dark circles, the skin colour has toned down and looked numb. I kissed on her forehead. She suddenly changed her position and slept on my lap while I didn’t disturb her. in two minutes I heard a low weeping voice, I turned Sara around and saw her crying.

“Sara I’m sorry, I was such a fool that I didn’t call you. I’m sorry Sara. I was just enjoying myself without thinking about you. Forgive me Sara. I promise you that I will not leave you alone hereafter.” I said and her lips opened a wide and said “I Love you” in a low voice.

I kept silent and asked her to take rest without uttering a word.